I think I died a long time ago.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
sex in a hospital.. check
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
