So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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