Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
