Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She bit a glass in half.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
