it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
