There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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