also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
