All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
