belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
