He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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