I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
