I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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