Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
