how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
