I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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