Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
