I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
