This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize