Plan B is the new Plan A
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
