Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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