I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
