Nicole vs. Life
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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