its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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