Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
