great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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