READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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