So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize