Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
