I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
