just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
