drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
