GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I AM VODKA MAN
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
