I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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