would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
