every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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