i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
