Someone shit on the floor
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize