My girlfriend figured out who you are.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
