just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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