Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
