He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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