im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
