i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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