Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
