Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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