Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
love makes seman taste better
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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