I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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