We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
