Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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