Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
