i just wanna soil my oats bro
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize