watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Rumble strips road head = magical
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize