This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
