Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
