The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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