so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
