He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
