don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
