He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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