is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
