Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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