Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
