does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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