He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
