She said her name was "party"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
