so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
