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Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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