Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
