can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
