HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize