I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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