i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
