she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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