Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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