I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
