I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
