angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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